The Most Powerful Practices I Teach

by Ann deBruyn

As a mindfulness life coach for moms, I have several practices that can help you improve your overall wellness. Below is a list of the top seven tools that I think will give you the quickest wins. They’re my favorites!

1. Thoughts create feelings.

Once you understand this truth, navigating life becomes infinitely easier. Instead of thinking that you’re powerless and that you’re at the effect of your life, when you understand your thoughts create your feelings, you can solve any challenge in front of you.

To practice this tool, any time you’re feeling an emotion, remind yourself it’s coming from your thinking.

“I’m feeling upset because I’m THINKING he shouldn’t have done that.“ “I’m feeling worried because I’m THINKING something might go wrong.”

Resources

  • Thoughts Vs. Facts (podcast)
  • How To Cope With Negative Thoughts As A Mom (free class)

2. Live in the AND.

When life feels challenging the easiest way to get unstuck is to live in the “and.”

For example, if you say to me “this is just a really hard season” the way to live in the “and” is to add on: AND I can do hard things.

You can add “and” onto anything you’re believing that’s creating pain for you.

I missed the mark AND that’s okay. I yelled at my kids AND I’m still a good mom. I haven’t lost weight yet AND that doesn’t mean I won’t in the future. I had a rough day AND I was made for this.

I talk more about this on my podcast episode Living In The AND. Click here to check it out.

3. Validate your feelings (and your kids’ feelings).

So much of genuine respect and connection is based on feeling “seen” which really means that someone else acknowledges how you’re feeling. You’ll only be capable of this with others if you first validate your own feelings.

To validate your own feelings 1) name the feeling, 2) find the location in your body, and 3) be present (allow) the feeling to be there. This simple process will help you stop judging your feelings, which only makes the feelings worse.

Once you have that down, you can apply this same process to your kids (or anyone else, really). It sounds like, “I can see you’re feeling upset. Mommy feels that way too sometimes. It’s okay to feel sad. We’ll get through this together.”

Resources:

  • Thursday Inspo (free weekly email)
  • When Kids Don’t Follow The Rules (podcast)

4. Who you’re BEING is more important than how much you’re DOING.

A common belief among women raised in Western Culture is that their worth is dependent on how much they get done. This means that resting, hanging out, and just living life is perceived as “lazy” and the more you produce, the better person you are. This, of course, creates a hustle-mom culture where you only feel good enough if you get everything done off your to-do list every day, without exception.

A foundational principle I teach is the opposite. Focus on who you are BEING in the world, instead of what you are DOING. If you decide the type of person you want to be, what values you want to have, and the character traits that you want to create for yourself, you’ll have a much more fulfilling life. And from this place, you can take action in alignment with who you are, without doing it at your own expense.

Resources:

  • 75 Journal Prompts For Moms (free download)
  • How To Stop People Pleasing (podcast)

5. The house chores can wait.

Don’t miss it. Don’t miss the laughter right now for tomorrow’s dreams. Don’t miss today’s fun and joy because you’re thinking about the next season. Don’t miss the beauty of today by being in your head about what’s to come. Yes there will be amazing things to come in the future but you don’t want to avoid the present thinking the future will be better because you still have your brain and body over there.

6. You’re capable of so much more than you realize.

Whatever desire is on your heart is there for a reason. You’re meant to have it. You’re meant to live it.

Don’t look to your past or to your present circumstances to determine what you’re capable of. Look to your future. If there’s something you want for yourself—whether it’s to write a book, start a business, stop yelling at your kids, lose weight, or something else—you can do it.

You’re only limited by your mind. As Jay Z said, “the limit is the sky.”

Resources:

  • Time Management Tips For Busy Moms (free class)
  • Podcast Directory (free download)

7. Choose your attitude every day.

One of the easiest (and yet often overlooked) ways to improve your life is to choose your attitude every day. I don’t mean “fake it” or toxic positivity (where everything is positive all the time). I mean choose your attitude on purpose instead of adopting what your brain gives you on default.

For example, if you find yourself having a really rough morning with the kids, instead of going with “oh great, this is off to a terrible start” you choose something that’s more empowering and yet still true for you “that was a rough morning for all of us, and yet we made it through it. We’re an incredible family.”

Resources:

  • Perfectionism In Motherhood (podcast)
  • 3 Steps To Reduce Anxiety In Moms (free class)

A Final Note

These seven tools are the most powerful tools that have helped my clients inside Grow You, my mindfulness community for moms.I’d love for you to join us to take your work to the next level: CLICK HERE to learn more about Grow You.