How To Enjoy Being A New Mom

by Ann deBruyn

Being a new mom and bringing a new human into this world can be the most amazing and exciting time.

I know for me it was the biggest transition in both my life and my identity.

It’s one thing to *think* about being a mom and then it’s an entirely different experience to actually *be* a new mom.

Holding that little person in your hands for the first time is an experience that’s breathtaking and so out-of-body it’s hard to explain.

Yet, so soon thereafter, all the surprises come and it can be extremely difficult to enjoy being a new mom due to sleep-deprivation, hormone changes, and just feeling different than you’ve ever felt before.

This is why it’s so important to learn how to enjoy motherhood—because the better you can take care of yourself, the better you can take care of your family.

How To Enjoy Being A New Mom

Having just gone through this myself, I can confidently say that using inner work tools to adopt a healthier mindset and emotional state is worth the time and energy.

With the major transitions in both your life (at home) and what’s happening internally (your mind, your emotions, and your hormones), it’s easy not to enjoy this phase.

But it doesn’t have to be that way!

You can actually enjoy being a new mom… even if that means it looks different than you thought it would.

Here’s how you can get started enjoying being a new mom…

Tip 1: Assess what your needs are.

You’re a human being with needs. On a very basic level, you need to eat and have shelter. On a more modern day level, you need other things to feel your best, even at a minimum. What are these needs?

Consider what you might say are your needs at this stage of being a new mom and open up to the idea that you could get them.

Examples of needs that may help you enjoy being a new mom:

  • 15 minutes to shower at the end of every day (to get clean).
  • A warm cooked meal at least once a day (to feed your body).
  • 10 minutes of silence, alone (to reconnect with yourself).
  • Taking a name when baby sleeps (to rest your body).
  • 30 minutes with a friend once per week (to connect with another adult who’s not your spouse).
  • A phone call to your mom friend who just had a baby a few months ago (to get emotional support).

So often, we’re trained to think that as soon as baby gets here mom’s needs no longer matter. But this isn’t true.

You’re not a machine. You have needs. You have limits.

While the new stage of motherhood will test your limits (no doubt about that), there’s no reason to feel bad or guilty that you are human and have these needs. And just because you’re a new mom doesn’t mean you can’t have some of your needs met.

The first step is acknowledging that you have needs and assessing what they are.

Resources:

  • How To Cope With Negative Thoughts As A Mom (free class)
  • Podcast Directory (free download)
  • Who Mothers Mom (podcast)

Tip 2: Accept the new “normal.”

There’s a lot of “what used to be” that comes up when you’re a new mom.

“I used to get 8 hours of sleep.” “My body used to belong to me.” “I used to know what day it was.” “I used to do whatever I wanted.”

This is normal. It’s your brain pulling up past experiences, which is the only place it can draw from.

But the sooner you can accept that your new life with baby is your “new normal” the less resistance you’ll have.

A fun mindset exercise is to ask yourself, “Knowing what I know now about being a new mom, what’s the most useful way for me to think about the next 90 days?”

This is the type of empowering question that will help you focus on your future, instead of “what used to be.”

Do this enough times, and you may find that you fall in love with this process because it takes you into creating a new future based on limitless possibilities, instead of a very limited, fixed past.

CLICK HERE to take my free class, How To Become A More Mindful Mom.

Tip 3: Wake up before your kids.

“The mornings are for me, the days are for them” is what I say.

This means that carving out a little bit of a morning routine (even if it’s just for 15 minutes) can help you reset and take care of yourself.

You can do whatever you want during this time, such as journaling, stretching, showering, or something else. Whatever you do, do it intentionally for you.

Resources:

  • 75 Journal Prompts For Mom (free download)
  • Mindfulness (podcast)
  • 3 Steps To Reduce Anxiety For Moms (free class)

Tip 4: Remind yourself that this season isn’t forever.

When you’re in the thick of it and your baby isn’t yet sleeping through the night, the days can feel like they last forever and all blend together.

It’s a natural human tendency to think that how it is now is how it’s going to be forever. But this is just a projection into the future that isn’t actually true.

So, remind yourself of the truth—this is a season that will end because all seasons end.

Resources:

  • Thursday Inspo (email newsletter)
  • How To Balance It All (podcast)

Tip 5: Embrace the “50-50” of motherhood.

Motherhood is half amazing and half mess.

Thinking that it should be anything else is setting yourself up for disappointment.

I coach many clients inside Grow You about wanting to be an “amazing mom” and it’s the same thing—you’re going to be half amazing and half pretty bad. And that’s okay.

I have a shirt that says “world’s okayest mom” on it. It feels amazing to think my goal is to be the most okayest mom. I can achieve that. But to be the best at it all the time? WHO can do that? Certainly not me.

When you finally learn that this is all of life—it’s both amazing and messy—you’re set free from trying to be perfect. You can finally settle into the truth, which is sometimes you’re amazing and sometimes you’re not. And that this is the truth for all humans everywhere.

  • Related: Living In The AND (podcast)

Tip 6: Switch roles with your husband.

A great way to have your husband (or spouse or partner) spend more time with your baby is to switch roles with him.

This may mean getting a little creative if you’re breastfeeding or sleep training, but it’s still doable, and you can certainly adjust it as your baby grows.

One of my girlfriends has her husband take the weekend mornings with their daughter so that she can sleep in and have a little time to herself. The best part of this is that dad and daughter get to bond, too.

Resources:

  • Marriage Seasons (podcast)
  • How To Deal With A Challenging Relationship (free class)

Tip 7: Get out of the house and move your body.

The last tip is a two-for-one—get yourself out of the house (where all the chaos is) and move your body.

This could mean going for a long walk in nature, going to a workout class, or even going to the grocery store.

It matters less what the activity is and more that it helps you shift your mindset to see that there is life outside your home that you are still very much a part of.

Sometimes, you just need to get out of your house and get moving.

A Final Note

One of my favorite ways to enjoy really hard things is to admit that it’s a really hard thing.

For example, I might say, “this is hard and I can do hard things.”

This feels so much better than, “this is impossible, and I don’t think I can do it.”

So, as you go about taking care of your beautiful babies, know that you can always shift your mindset just a little bit and feel completely changed.

Take my How To Cope With Negative Thoughts As A Mom Free Class to learn three steps to get out of a negative mindset and stop feeling like you’re in a rut.

You got this, mama. Promise.